I'm A Celebrity Line-Up Announced

ITV bosses have announced the new line-up for I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. In this year’s jungle pantomime are:

Kate McCann
Age 39
Famous For : Being accused of murdering her kid and dumping her in the Atlantic although that fellar who translated for the bizzies looks a bit shifty to me.

Jonathan King
Age 68
Famous For : Singing ‘Everyone’s Gone To The Moon‘, presenting ‘Entertainment USA’ and kiddy fiddling.

Robert Mugabe
Age 74
Famous For : Big specs, throwing fat Nazis off their farms, starving millions

That fellar who shouted ‘Just Cook Will Yer?’ to the narky chef on TV Reality Show, The Hotel.
Age 47
Famous For : shouting ’Just Cook Will Yer?’ to the narky chef on TV Reality Show, The Hotel.

Sefton The Brave Police Horse
Age 43
Famous For : Being blown up by the IRA in the notorious Hyde Park bombing of 1982.

Abu Hamza
Age : 50
Famous for : Being a one eyed hook handed Islamic fundamentalist/pirate stereotype

Some Bird With Massive Tits
Age 19
Famous For : Having Massive Tits.

Barry George
Age 45
Famous For : Being a bit weird, shooting Jill Dando through the swede

Lori & Reba Schappell
Age : 33
Famous For : Being country n' western singing conjoined twins.

Alex 'Hurricane' Higgins

Age 64
Famous For : Snooker n' twatting his missus n' shit

Some other bird who shagged loads of Hollywood actors

Age 57

Famous for : shagging loads of Hollywood actors

ITV bosses said ’this year’s line-up is sure to be a winner with viewers who can phone up our all new ‘look no deception’ voting lines in the certain knowledge that every single penny is going towards ITV shareholders and not a bunch of whining maggots with their hands out begging for small change.’