Bear Dressed As Artist Wins Turner Prize

This year’s Turner Prize has been won by Mark Grizzly, a 48 year old bear who’s film, ‘Dickhead’ features Grizzly dressed an artist wandering around a deserted zoo. He said the film was inspired by his time as a young bear in Berlin zoo.

‘My work explores themes of captivity and containment, of what is natural and unnatural, what is it to be a bear, what is it to be an artist, what is nature and what is art? Fuck knows! I want viewers of this film to question their own identity, are they human or are they bears, are they free or are they trapped? Fucked if I know!

Within us all there is a sense of confusion, of disillusion, of dislocation, we are all in one sense a bear dressed as an artist wandering around a deserted zoo, over nine days. That’s what I’m trying to say; are we the zookeepers of our own souls or are we simply just life-forms with preordained paths to death? Who gives a fuck?

By adopting the identity of an artist, I unburden myself from the shackles of beardom, I no longer have to catch salmon swimming upstream, knock over bins in remote Alaskan towns and shit in the woods, I can wander past the tiger sanctuary and the elephant house and the shitty little bit with the goats and the guinea pigs where all the little bastards scoff their chips and burgers.

Isn’t the world just one big zoo? Aren’t we all caged in some respects? Who are we, where did we come from and where are we going? All the usual shit artists spout when trying to explain their third-rate conceptualist bullshit. But isn’t that the point? What is art? What is a pic-er-nic? Boo Boo! Here comes the ranger.”

The Turner prize judges commended Grizzly’s work saying, ‘Mark‘s work is at once pretentious and yet totally meaningless, it is for us to inject meaning into the work, to interpret his art via our prejudices and cultural responses towards bears and indeed zoos and er, life n’ stuff. Look, there’s Dennis Hopper, Dennis sign my programme!’

Marcel Duchamp was unavailable for comment.